"Both she and Sir Alan Sugar, who selected [Michelle] Dewberry from more than 15,000 applicants, said her role at his Amstrad company had been 'completed' "

Source: I think we're in understatement zone here , BBC News

"Newsweek's edition in Europe, Asia and Latin America has a cover showing a jihad fighter with the headline 'Losing Afghanistan', the US edition features celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz and her three children with the heading, 'My Life in Pictures'."

Source: Monkey, MediaGuardian

"We've had a few comments about our coverage of the tragic death of a baby girl in Leicester... did we vilify Rottweilers?"

Source: For god's sake - a baby dies and people still fawn over the dogs? I hate that, BBC News

"At the deluxe end of the scale he will administer a 'Personal Termination Call' which includes a detailed explanation as to why his client has decided to end the relationship"

Source: The new 'separation agency' in Germany, Telegraph

"The party was meant to be an all-nighter but after [Prince] Harry released these toxic things at about one o'clock..."

Source: Pur-lease... Daily Mail

"residents in Bristol had been warned that they faced having their doormats confiscated... officials claimed mats in communal hallways were a 'tripping hazard'"

Source: The Observer

"A Chicago man told airport security he had a bomb in his luggage - because he didn't want his mum to know it was a penis pump"

Source: Ananova

" THE SOLUTION FOR THE ACHIEVEMENT OF WORLD PEACE: This is so simple! According to Jesus... An AMERICAN president has to set a goal for WORLD PEACE BEFORE 2021"

Source: Random nutter on eBay! (Thanks B3ta)

"just dwell for a moment on the fact that [Ming Campbell's] speech is to be preceded by a slide show (they couldn't afford a video)..."

Source: Nick Robinson

"John Reid urged Muslim parents to look for the 'tell-tale signs' that their children were being groomed for suicide bombing"

Source: Monsters and Critics

"The labels and print-offs are awful and not collectable. It’s not good news for stamp collectors"

Source: Times Online

"You cannot quote any significant government measure we can be proud of... nothing... we lied in the morning, we lied in the evening"


Source: Hungary's Prime Minister, BBC News

"Mark Griffiths, Europe's only professor of gambling, said using computer devices [...] is not cheating - it's using science to give yourself a better advantage"

Source: The Guardian

"'It may be very arrogant to set up Jesus's MySpace,' said Simon Jenkins, of Churches' Advertising Network. 'But it is a voyage of exploration. Let's hope God is guiding it in the right direction'"

Source: Ananova

"Gill apparently cited Super Columbine Massacre as his favourite videogame... game's creator Danny has maintained the game is an artistic attempt to help understand the mentality of the two Columbine shooters"

Source: Of course it is, The Register

"In one Trading Standards Institute survey, of 9,000 people, 98% said they did not want cold callers"

Source: I'm just worried about the other 2%, BBC News

"PROF CALLS FOR BOOZE LESSONS FOR TEENS"

Source: Just thought I'd call out a rather misleading headling from The Daily Record

"Every single night I would cast my mind back and think to myself: 'What would Patrick Stewart do in this situation?'"

Source: BBC News

"The 75-year-old would only be allowed to sign the forms for the Carphone Warehouse's TalkTalk phone and broadband package if she was accompanied by a younger member of her family who could explain the small print to her"

Source: Daily Mail

"'We're just in our heads analysing why, why, why? I think previous generations probably had to work harder. They probably didn't have time to analyse why. They had other concerns. War, or other stuff"

Source: Stephanie Klein, The Observer

"[Boris] Johnson said he would be happy to 'add Papua New Guinea to my global itinerary of apology'"

Source: Yup, Boris again... BBC News

"a local authority is seeking an antisocial behaviour order against a cockerel which crows so early and so loudly that it wakes the neighbours"

Source: Scotsman

"About 25 percent of Russians have had sex while driving, a poll revealed"

Source: MOSNEWS.COM

"Beckham said he mistakenly said 'yes' when he was asked if he was going to be a dad again... his spokeswoman said, 'He misunderstood a question in Spanish'"


Source: All Headline News

"I attempted to speak to the driver. At that point the passenger leaned across and said 'He's blind'"

Source: The Telegraph

"'Thanks to FlexiSpy, I finally figured out my wife was cheating on me with my brother,' he claims. 'My life is so much better.'"

Source: The Observer

"You possess great depth and have a passionate mind. Others think you're influential, ethical and kind"

Source: Advice to Tony Blair. From a mug. BBC News

"Every BBC sub-brand contributes to some part of the BBC's brand mission... But a BBC sub-brand [...] may even have values not shared by the BBC. That's fine. So long as a BBC sub-brand always helps to shape the BBC brand, that's what's important"

Source: BBC Brand Manual, Media Monkey, MediaGuardian

"No one will deny Pluto's power"

Source: Doesn't astrology look even sillier now? Thanks to The Guardian for Astrology.com

"'The people who live here are respectful,' said a young man with blue hair and a nose ring who emerged from the kitchen, accompanied by a smiling girl with long, red hair and leopardskin tights"

Source: Methinks here's some stereotyping here, Times Online

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