"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do."

Source: A classic quote from Stephen Roberts (found at Chris Beach) to conclude Quote of the Day with! Thanks for reading

"The mistake I made was not realising milk froths up and increases in volume"

Source: Sophie, the quantum physicist who estimated 200 litres of milk was needed in The Apprentice, Guardian Unlimited

"A Tory councillor who hosted a fancy-dress party as Nelson Mandela says he thought he was merely paying tribute to a historic figure... he was so pleased with it that he sent a photograph of himself to his local newspaper - causing the row"

Source: This Is London

"As a mother of a young child myself I find [Charlotte Church's] behaviour and language quite unacceptable"

Source: Natalie Powers of Scooch, whose Eurovision entry includes the line: 'Would you like something to suck on for landing, Sir?' Digital Spy

"Asked if viewers of the Easter programme [Songs of Praise] will be told when it was filmed [at Christmas!], the spokeswoman said: 'People know it's not live'"

Source: MediaGuardian

"I didn't know who he was before the interview, so I learned something"

Source: One of the pupils interviewing Plaid Cymru leader Ieuan Wyn Jones, BBC News

"Everybody felt very bad about it and we all learned a lesson"

Source: On the accidental deletion of a $38 billion account at the Alaska Department of Revenue, along with all of the backups, costing more than $200,000, CNN

"We love her. [Samantha Fox] is an authentic sex symbol of 1980s so why shouldn't we have a monument to her. Other towns have their heroes in parks so why can't we?"

Source: Serbian fan Obrad Banovic, Ananova

"The Prince's Foundation for Integrated Health... said there was increasing evidence alternative therapies worked and where there was no proof it did not necessarily mean that there would never be"

Source: Or, to summarise: they don't work, BBC News

"I know life isn't always biscuits and sandwiches"

Source: One candidate from the new series of The Apprentice - can't wait! The Guardian

"A spokesman said that, 'on reflection', it had been thought unwise to invite gamers to pick up the £425 consoles at a highly publicised event, and then make their way home from the centre of London"

Source: Times Online

"The competition to select Britain's Eurovision Song Contest entry plunged into farce..."

Source: Cause it wasn't already? NEWS.com.au

"'Did you intend or hope that the device would explode?' he was asked. 'No,' said Ibrahim. 'It was not capable of detonation.'"

Source: Bombs not intended to detonate? Ur... judge for yourself, The Telegraph

"Why did your emplyees ejactulate into my grandmother's milkshake?"

Source: A question answered on the McDonald's site, The Register

"A German belly dancer has been given twice as much compensation as she asked for - after a plastic surgeon accidentally sucked away one of her buttocks instead of reducing the size of her thighs"

Source: Metro

"The Thatcher Government concocted a plan to search for the Loch Ness monster using a team of dolphins"

Source: Times Online

"Sir Martin Sorrell, one of the most powerful advertising executives in the world, today accused two former colleagues of circulating a 'vicious' image of himself and a female executive titled 'the mad dwarf and the nympho schizo'"

Source: The Telegraph

"Red noses have been banned from the set of the BBC's celebrity Fame Academy special - even though it is raising funds for Comic Relief... the foam noses had been declared a fire risk to the filming venue"


Source: BBC News

"It’s all about imagination and creativity. There's more to car love than exhaust pipes. Stroking the body panels and delicate touching makes excellent foreplay"

Source: Chris, the strange car sex man, The Sun

"Jade Goody has been shortlisted for the Celebrity Mum Of The Year Award"

Source: Digital Spy

"three students at a high school in Cross River, N.Y., were suspended for using one of the title words from 'The Vagina Monologues' at a school event"


Source: The New York Times

"the new Channel 4 show, appropriately titled Dumped, will put contestants on a giant rubbish tip and require them to live on the waste, litter and other junk products they find in it"

Source: Format desperation? MediaGuardian

"A man accused of robbing a Belfast lingerie shop at knifepoint has fallen back on a time honoured defence – namely, his claim that he believed he was a female elf at the time... Boyd admits that he may have 'blurred reality and fantasy'"

Source: Metro

"Thieves who stole a JCB led five police cars and a helicopter on a low-speed chase for 13 miles... with a top speed of 20mph"

Source: Orange

"if someone texts to say they have just run over your child in their car, the word "car" is replaced by a wacky cartoon vehicle putt-putting onto the screen"

Source: Charlie Brooker, The Guardian

"A German man who spent 10 days in a self-made box atop a 72-foot-tall pole to protest a looming jail term was lured off his perch by his wife -- who sent up a topless picture of herself in his lunch box"

Source: Yahoo! News

"Big Brother is pretty awful but nobody has died yet"

Source: Reverend Stephen Lynas, BBC News

"Dr. Alexander Dlugi, now 54, sued the child (11), claiming she was negligent and caused the collision by reacting unreasonably when he approached her from behind, shouted "watch out" and rang his bicycle bell"

Source: Daily Record

"A Montreal woman poured fondue fuel over her sleeping boyfriend and lit his penis on fire... 'He had difficulties entering into other relationships after the incident'"

Source: CBC News

"Wonderpizza vending machines provide you with a 9-inch pizza in 2 minutes without you having to worry about humans touching it at any point in the process"

Source: SCI FI Tech

"Hefner is reportedly keen to keep his wedding plans secret because he is worried that monogamy will ruin the concept of the TV show"

Source: Digital Spy

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