Contrary to rumour, I don't hate cars. True, I do try to avoid them whenever possible and am increasingly hopeful that I'll never even have to learn to drive let alone actually buy one. But I do hate places that bend over backwards to accommodate cars at the expense of everyone and everything else. Brent Cross shopping centre isn't actually nearly as bad as it could be, being in London and thus included on a host of bus routes which sweep you through the car park and right up to the doors. But in recent years they've managed to develop a secondary retail park at the other side of the motorway, and - just my luck - it's the bit with the large bookshop. Buses stop here, too, but the quickest way to get from one side to the other is just to walk on the footpaths over the roads and then try not to get killed by impatient drivers trying to get in or out of the car parks. And looking down at the ugly grey track on which ugly metal boxes are speeding along emitting ugly fumes, it's hard not to wish that perhaps petrol prices could go up just a little bit more. (Although, of course, not in a way that's going to threaten my 90p buses.)

The headline of the Daily Telegraph today, incidentally, was 'You have the right to shoot dead a burglar'. *sighs*. Are Telegraph readers all armed now, too?

I keep on walking til the sun comes up.

Lucy's been over for the past few days, so we've been around London playing our famous (it's not, but it should be) Tube game: pick a random station with your eyes closed from the index, and then go there. Simple! This time the hand of fate directed us to Finchley Road & Frognal and East Putney, and on our travels we made two important discovered. One: Stiles Bakery near Angel station in Islington - don't ask how we ended up there - does the most delicious milkshakes in the world. And two: The Forbidden Kingdom is the funniest film ever made. We spent the last 20 minutes or so literally in fits of barely-suppressed laughter at the terrible acting and hilarious clichés. Realising that no-one is going to read this blog and then go out and see the film just for it to make sense, I thought I'd perform a public service and provide a commentary to the plot as recounted on Wikipedia. Naturally, if you are planning to see it (why?) don't read this. All right then, here we go...

"The film opens during a battle between Sun Wukong, the Monkey King (Jet Li), and heavenly soldiers amongst the clouds. It is then revealed the sequence was a dream when a young teenager, Jason Tripitikas (Michael Angarano), awakens in his room plastered with vintage kung fu movie posters. Michael Angarano is an actor who posses a single facial expression: whimpering distress. Every event in his life is met with it, including the discovery that he's had a dream. After getting dressed, he makes his way to a pawn shop in South Boston's China town to buy some new kung fu DVDs. This semi-derelict run-down pawn shop happens to stock brand new shrink-wrapped DVDs. Obvious, its customers were both very desperate and working in the entertainment industry. Like the makers of this film. There, he converses with Hop (a prosthetics-laden Jackie Chan), the shop's elderly owner, and, while thumbing through some DVDs, he is drawn to a room full of antiques and notices a golden staff. Hop tells him that the staff is to be delivered to its rightful owner and then closes the door. As the door closes, slowly, we see Jason's face enter its usual whimpering distress state.

On his way back home, Jason is attacked by local bully Lupo (Morgan Benoit) and his cronies who force him to take them to the store so they can steal some money from the old man. Several things here. First of all, the cronies of the local bully - and there are four of them - are content to spend their lives standing in a line behind their leader grimacing silently. Secondly, Lupo's first move of bullying is to denigrate Jason's bicycle as being a 'loser cruiser', which immediately becomes my favourite phrase ever for its sheer wickedness, had Lupo and Jason been seven years old. And finally, it should be noted that it manages to get very dark inbetween these scenes: obviously the boys went for a pizza with their victim off-screen to pad out the time. Feeling betrayed, Hop tries to attack the thieves with the staff, but is shot by Lupo (much to both Jason and Lupo's cronies' shock). And, ur, Lupo's. Immediately after shooting, he starts babbling in a surprised tone and was clearly unaware that guns contain bullets. He tells Jason that he must deliver the staff to its rightful owner. Jason takes the staff and runs from the thieves. On top of a building, he is surrounded by the bullies, with Lupo warning Jason that he "saw nothing" (out of fear Jason may turn them in to police). Before Lupo can shoot Jason, he is suddenly pulled off the roof by the staff and travels back through time. Make a mental note of this moment: Jason is pulled off the roof of a building and falls - on his back - down to the concrete ground below. We'll come back to this. [Read More!]

Please note that there is currently severe mood disruption between Waseley Prom and Leaving Party. This is due to ridiculous train services. Specific station information now follows:

Tricycle Theatre: A good service is operating - alight here on Monday evening for Moonlight & Magnolias, a very funny and well-done play made all the better by the unique atmosphere of the Tricycle.

QPCS Concert: Alight here on Tuesday evening for the Summer Concert, including excellent performances from Alice 'New Girl' Jenkins and somebody who played and sang Regina Spektor's Samson to my great delight. Change here for the QPCS line. Please note that the QPCS line is running a reduced nostalgia service from June 2007.

Saoirse's Birthday: A refreshments service consisting of lasagne, chips and chocolate cake operates at this stop. A reduced friendship service may operate whilst Saoirse reads a book bought from the 'Business - Globalisation' section of a bookshop.

Waseley Prom: Alight here on Thursday night for the Waseley Sixth Form Prom, featuring dancing, strict ID-checks and a cool bloke named Mike. Facebook links are available for customers wishing to connect to photos of this event. Change here to visit Lucy. Travel update: Injuries are being reported along this route. Please check with the operator of this service for further announcements.

Leaving Party: Under construction. Alight here for Barrie Birch's leaving party: one of the defining faces of Queens Park leaves the scene! Change here for the QPCS line. Please note, in case you missed it the first time, that the QPCS line is running a reduced nostalgia service from June 2007.

Book Group: Under construction. Customers are advised to check the arrivals board for Saoirse and Sanna in order to discuss Lucas by Kevin Brooks.

Grandparent Tea: Under construction. All change please! This week will terminate here. Return trains are not running.

This wasn't intentional, but I don't think I've blogged since my dad added me to his RSS reader. (Hello!) Nor, indeed, since my mum joined Facebook... go go go, parents 2.0! (Oh god - making the family a more integral part of online social networking will probably find its way into another nauseating David Cameron speech soon. I'll have to add 'The State' as a Facebook friend in response.) Anyway, I thought I'd start with Thursday, High Barnet and Star Wars. Yes - much to the great surprise of all concerned I've never actually bothered to watch the original Star Wars films in full - a deficit of knowledge which Oliver, Abi and Abi's sister Sarah started to make up for on Thursday when we gathered to watch Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (*snigger* - 'episode IV' indeed). In all its endlessly fiddled-around with DVD glory, it was fun enough and I am quite looking forward to seeing the remaining parts. Careful: no-one spoil who Luke's father turns out to be...

I think I managed to catch the very last Tube back from High Barnet, and probably did nothing the next day because my memory skips forward to Saturday: the day of the QPCS summer 'carnival' - quote marks borrowed from Alex Trafford - as well as the Doctor Who grand finale and (last but certainly not least) Abbi's Dirty Pirate Hooker party. I don't think anything I say about that last thing could compete with photos of the fantastic costumes, so check out Abbi's Facebook - hey, now my mum can too - for photos of those. And now I'm off to the Tricycle, which is always the start of a good night, so adieu.

Latest nostalgic musical addiction: Big Brovaz. You mess with my cheese and I’ll switch just like Schwarzenegger.

Appropriately enough, as I'm writing this blog whilst listening to Ken Livingstone presenting on LBC, I thought I'd start with this photo from the train which Abi, Oliver and I took to Shoreham on Saturday morning. I was supposed to be looking as if I was happily contemplating my secret plan to renationalise the railways - something which comes very easily to me on trains, I have to say. Ahaha, one day... *cackle*

Anyway, Shoreham Village Fête was a great day out, and many thanks to Joe for hosting us. We ate, drank, slid down slides, watched falcons flying and smashed crockery (an event now complete with Health and Safety glasses) under the bright summer sun, which managed to get us all in the end. With our reddening skin, we then travelled back to my house to watch Doctor Who... and what an episode it was Without spoiling anything for anyone else - I really can't wait for next week!



That evening I jumped off the bus leading Abi and Oliver back to the Northern line (pah) and into the presence of Joshua. Yay, Joshua With work meaning that he was now unable to attend the picnic planned for the next day, I was really glad we were able to go for a few pizza slices and mango beers to catch up after another term. It was also the first time I'd seen his slightly shorter hair but with my own currently shortish hair it still trumps mine!






So! Finally! The what is turning into the annual Hampstead Heath pic-a-nic took place yesterday, reuniting me with some people that I hadn't seen in a very long time. In the case of Robert, since last September! No-one has really changed much, though Although hayfever did come after me and Sanna in particular, it was very much worth it to see everyone again and a few of us came back to mine to enjoy the first of the four new Futurama movies. One exciting new development on behalf of me, Sanna, Saoirse and Emily is the determination to begin a book group over the summer - clearly sailing quickly into middle age! The first book has indeed already been selected, so hopefully the momentum will continue and I will be pushed into reading fiction again. Hooray for summer