There’s nothing like reading a friend’s blog post entitled Reflections to put you into a reflective mood yourself. I’ll start with the news first though – I sat Maths, Core 3 today. It was OKish, to be honest. I didn’t come out of it super-confident, I wasn’t at my best (it being very noisy with wind for a start!) and I kinda have the feeling I’ll come out of it with a solid B or something, and then retake in June with everyone else. Which is fine really, nothing lost, except it’d still be nice to get Core 3 well and truly out of the way. As ever, we shall see!
Back to the teenagery reflection then. The trouble is that I don’t have that much to be reflective about. I’m mildly stressed from all the work I know I have to do, certainly. But then it’ll all be over by June, and it’s not making me unhappy, and when I think about it too much I’ll just end up shrugging and going to bed. I did wonder today – “if I was ever really unhappy, would anyone notice?” – but it’s a stupid question because I’ve never really been properly unhappy. Even the day before a Physics Practical
People keep asking me if I’m excited about university, and the answer – to be honest – is no. Am I looking forward to it? Yes. Do I think I’ll enjoy it and have the time of my life? Course! But I’m not excited about it because I don’t like looking forward to these sorts of things with any emotional expectations. Everything could always go wrong at any moment, so I’ve always lived in the present and tried to make sure I was happy right here, right now. And it’s so very different to the voices at school I’ve blogged about before who want you to focus on a career and a bright shining future.
But then again, I can hardly go around advocating my philosophy. Take Andy Kings, for example. (Sorry to embarrass you, Andy.) He’ll grow up saving lives, and I won’t, and as much as I admire him I couldn’t do it because of the commitment you have to throw your life into. So maybe I’m just lucky that other people are taking the harder routes in life…